14. Ode to Noodles
Ode to Noodles is a collection of poems, most of them written by Sgt. Harry Jinkerson, who served with the department from 1969 to 1995. The poems are of “misadventures” that have occurred to officers. Shortly after these incidents the poems were posted throughout the department and were simply signed “Ode to Noodles.” Most people did not know the author of the poems, although some suspected Sgt. Jinkerson.
The poems began when an officer on patrol ran over a dog named “Noodles.” This officer was at the end of many jokes regarding “poor Noodles” and Sgt. Jinkerson decided to write his first poem, called “An Ode to Noodles.” Below are different poems written by Sgt. Jinkerson and a short description of the event that the poem was derived from.
“An Ode to Noodles”
It was bright and brisk in town that day.
When poor ole Noodles went out to play.
The kids were happy and without a care,
cuz their pal Noodles was always there.
But Noodle's time had come around,
as into the street he made a bound.
He looked to the left then dashed to the right,
but ole 69 was nowhere in sight.
He dashed into the street that day
and bought a ticket marked “one way.”
The unit came by with a whoosh and a splatt.
And made ole Noodles part of Washtenaw and Platt.
It was bright and brisk in Ann Arbor Town,
where someplace children laugh and play around.
But a loyal friend is gone and a house is bare.
Poor ole Noodles in no longer there.
Ode to the Wall
This misadventure occurred when the officers in briefing were given “safety instructions” on how to safely handle their firearms. This instruction took place in the briefing room and resulted in the discharge of the weapon of the instructor. Shortly thereafter “Ode to Noodles” struck with the following poem:
Hole, hole in the wall, who's the fairest shot of all?
Everyone knows but the wall can't say
Who put the hole in the wall that day.
One fine morning in the briefing room,
during a safety demo a gun did boom.
The rangemaster was showing the way,
on how a trigger shoe did not play.
The men there had no time to hide,
when the gun went off, Pear thought he died.
Lt. Rady trembled when the boom did sound,
then sighed in relief when the hole was found.
So to all brave men tried and true,
it's a lesson on what not to do.
When your weapon goes on display,
Remember the how of the hole that day.
This incident occurred in September of 1991, the Friday before the Michigan v. Notre Dame Football game. The visiting Irish fans took to the bars along S. University. When the liquored up fans began filtering from the bars they congregated along S. University, trading chants with U of M fans. Soon the two groups began to lose control and before long a riot ensued. Officers attempted to move the groups from the street but they responded by pelting the officers with rocks and bottles. Windows were being destroyed to area businesses and street signs were being torn down. Sgt. Jinkerson arrived on scene and the street was ablaze in tear gas before long. The tear gas was very effective, although the officers did not know it was going to be set off and none had gas masks!
Let me tell you my friends of another tale
Of how justice did once again momentarily prevail
A tale of those bold ones who wear blue
Fighting the rocks and bottles in the air and Oh Yes-Gas Too!
Twas the night before the Notre Dame/U of Michigan Game
With the students partying down and not at all being very tame
Around midnight they decided S. U. they were going to take
Two thousand or more gathered and all hell began to break
Cops from all around were called to S. U. in Ann Arbor town
But alas they were outnumbered more than 40 to 1
The men in blue tried to break it up by moving through the crowd
But the students continued to get more rowdier and loud
The students began to throw rocks and bottles at the cops
When Sgt. Harry-O came on the scene and said this must stop
Fights and brawls and damage started to take place
The good Lt. and Sgt. Harry stated we must put an end to this with haste
The students had not seen or smelled gas in over 20 years
And what should have scared them was Harry's grin from ear to ear
With the gas thick in the air the battle raged for 2 or 3 hours
The Lt. and Sarge saying the streets are going to be ours
With the last canister fired from Harry's big gas gun
The Lt. called for a two-time type step run
But the cop's frustration that night had gotten somewhat large
What the good Lt. got was a rebel war cry and a full-fledged charge
The deeds of the night were finally put to a stop
No one was left on the streets but the cops
Do not worry my friends about any future events to come to task
For Harry-O has filled black bag with plenty more gas
Ode to the Frisbee
In this incident, Sgt. Dick Cygan was on patrol when he came upon a group of students playing frisbee in the street. He asked them to stop as they were blocking traffic and they did. He was driving by later and found they were again playing frisbee and he felt appropriate action was necessary. He exited his patrol car, took their frisbee and cut it in half!
The students soon complained to Sgt. Cygan's superiors and Sgt. Cygan was left to explain why he took care of the situation as he did.
Let me tell you my friends of a tale
That justice did once momentarily prevail
In an exploit so sharp and true
Because of one who wears the blue.
Sgt. Cygan did ride one afternoon eve
In his mighty car driving steed
As he looked for the crowds that his around
In the streets of Ann Arbor Town
He looked near and far and high and low
For any and all that he could send to way down below
But alas all were gone and fled
For they had heard that he was after their heads
He turned a corner and did spy at last
A spectacle that made him gasp
For a frisbee was flying around
Blocking traffic and scattering people abound
This must stop this minute said he
To the gents that were throwing the frisbee
All kinds of problems can come to be
By you doing this in the streets so carelessly
With that he left thinking his word had been heard
But as he turned the corner they flipped him the bird
And when he returned to check the gents
They were back to their merriment
With the firmness and coolness of men who wear blue
He grabbed the frisbee from the two
And thinking this would be the last laugh
He quickly sliced the frisbee in half
The two men ran and cried and cried
And the Sarge was caught and tried
But don't worry my friends and lament
For now he carries frisbee repair cement
Ode to Noodles struck after Officers Mark Defrain and Mark Purcell attempted to arrest a subject and ended up in a car chase, which did not end in their favor.
Let me tell you my friends of another tale
Of how justice did once again prevail
A tale so daring and bold for the men who wear the Blue
Of Defrain and Purcell who flew through the night while in pursuit
On a dark and dangerous night it is said
Two officers tried to arrest a subject in bed
The suspect became wise to them and took to flight
Hopping in his car and driving wildly out of sight
The chase was on and soon led them out of town
With the men in Blue pursuing like a hunting hound
Out on I-94 to Baker Road they went
The suspect wondering if he was to be heaven or hell sent
The county mounties now assisting in the lead of the chase
and Defrain and Purcell trying their best to keep up with the pace
But alas, knowledge of the roads would prove to be the better teacher
As Defrain and Purcell would soon be watching from the bleachers
At terrific speed, a curve in the road came into sight
Which suddenly put Defrain and Purcell in quite a plight
Cries of “Oh Shit” could be heard during the 5 second flight
As they left the road and curve and sailed into the night
Sixty feet or so later they came down with a splash
The Dukes of Hazard would have paid to film this crash
In the middle of the swamp on top of their car
They could see and hear the lights and sirens in the distance afar
The suspect got busted later that night
As the patrol was pulled from the swamp, Oh what a sight
Badges not wings is what they should remember they wear
Planes not patrol cars fly on a wing and a prayer